The Joy of Giving!

I wanted to title the post "26 days of giving" but I didn't want to mislead anyone into thinking that the blog was having a giveaway.  Cause it's not.  This post is the launch of a family project we're beginning tomorrow to make an effort at teaching our children the joy of giving this holiday season.  We all know that kids enjoy receiving their gifts on Christmas and I think that's great but I want my children understand that there are others out there that don't always receive like they do and to understand the joy that comes in seeing someone else receive.

So I sat down and brainstormed - with a little help from my mama friends online - 26 different groups of people/places/causes that the kids and I could do simple things for this holiday season.  Now I've never done this project before so it's all new to me as much as it is to you readers but I have a few ideas about how it might work.  So let me start with our list.  I tried to do something for each letter of the alphabet.  Some things at the end don't match the letters of the alphabet. 

a - aunts - make treats

b - brothers - ??

c – cousins – get or make small gifts

d - doctor - make treats

e - elderly - make cards to take to nursing home

f - family - spend the day together

g - grandparents - make cards

h - humane society - take old towels and blankets in for the animals

i - imprisoned Christians – Voice of the Martyr

j - jail - make cards

k - kitchen - make a meal for a shut in friend

l - librarian - make treats

m - military - make cards

n - neighbors - make treats

o – officers – take treats to police station

p - (a family we're close to at church) - make treats

q - make quilt ornaments for my grandma (it's her hobby)

r - radio station

s - Sunday school teachers - make treats

t - toys for tots - set a budget and let the kids help pick a toy to give

u - uncles - make treats

v - veterans

w - world - clean up trash at a park or on a walk

x - BIHN - the homeless network run by local churches

y - Pastors

z - postal worker

Other opportunities are coming up as time goes by - such as the coat drive.  We have some outgrown coats I was getting rid of anyway this might be a great opportunity for us.  We're going to stay flexible but on task.  Giving is the key - and keeping the kids involved in the giving is key.  I put each of those things on a slip of paper in a jar and each day we'll draw our giving task for the day.  We will make or put together the items for whichever task that day and each Saturday as a family we will set out to do the actual giving.  Mostly because I don't want to take four children out daily for the next 26 days - the only thing that will GIVE is more gray hairs to my already growing collection.  We also want to be able to include KOJ in our project and this is a viable way to do that.  Some of the giving will be done anonymously - I plan to "elf" the neighbors and some friends rather than give straight to them.  Some of it will be done face to face.  The key here is to allow the children to see the joy that others get when we give.  To feel the joy that we can have in giving.

So tomorrow the fun starts.  I'll be posting my blogs in the late afternoon/evenings for the next month so that I can share pics of our activities each day.  So come on back and join in the fun at home too!  It is far more blessed to give than to receive!

Children and cleaning.... a lesson I've learned

I learned something.  Right now it is 12:33am and a bit ago I got back up out of bed because I couldn't sleep.  I was upset about something and well I decided that since I wasn't sleeping anyway I should tackle the disaster that is currently my kitchen while everyone else was asleep and the house was peaceful.  To tell you the truth though it felt creepy more than peaceful at this time of night. lol  Anyway while bustling about the kitchen unloading the dishwasher and re-loading it I was thinking about how frustrated and burnt out I felt tonight when KOJ got home.

I've spent the last three days cleaning and organizing.  On Sunday I started a giant re-organization project that touched EVERY room of the house but the bathroom.  So by the time we went to bed Sunday night the house was in shambles.  I've spent the last two days working diligently at putting everything back together only better.  No worries a post with pics to come later this week... maybe next week.  Soon. 

In my cleaning frenzy I've been trying to get the kids to occupy themselves, using the tv as a babysitter more than I like, and just getting really annoyed at having to go back and re-do something I just did because there's a 16 mo old in the house.

See:

She's totally cute (see her first pig tails!) but she's a trouble maker by nature.

Anyway I was pondering in the kitchen about WHY I've been so burnt out.  And I realized that I hadn't been feeling burnt out the last week or two because I'd gotten into a routine of sharing the burden with the kids.  We had gotten into a rhythm of the kids helping.  It isn't always consistent.  It's not always the same task or the same time of day but when things needed to get done I would have the kids help.  They are learning responsibility and it's leaving ME less burnt out.  Only I hadn't realized that yet.  Until tonight.  Now I know.

I know that it is more important for me to spend my time with my children and include them in these things.  Even though it will take longer, not be done as perfectly, and there will often be whining.  I need to let go of the ideal I have in my head of the perfectly clean and organized home.  I need to continue to do the best I can but not lose sight of the fact that it's the kids that are my main priority.  Having an orderly home is for their benefit.  Not the benefit of others.  And if there are cheerios on the floor even though I just swept the dining room for the third time today, oh well.  And if the living room only gets vacuumed once a week we'll live.  I don't want to be a lazy slob anymore but I also don't want to be neurotic about how clean the house is either.  As with just about every area of life and parenting the key is balance.  If someone finds the key let me know, I'd love a copy!

Santa Claus on a Sunday Morning

Our kids have coughs, I have a slightly sore throat and a headache, and there's some bug going around at church/in our community in general so KOJ decided we should stay home today to avoid being sick on Thanksgiving.  I appreciate that a lot so he didn't get an argument from me.  So that leaves me time to sit and muse.  To ponder something that I've been pondering.

Santa Claus.  Now as a disclaimer let me say that this post is a reflection of a struggle that *I* myself am currently having and not a passive aggressive jab at any person(s).

I grew up believing in Santa Claus.  And once I was old enough to intellectually know that he couldn't possibly exist I still maintained his existence aloud for the sakes of my younger siblings.  I knew that Christmas was about the birth of Jesus.  And of course we sang songs about that and learned about that at church.  But Santa and all the movies on tv about Santa, and all the songs about Santa, and the gift exchanges as "secret Santa" just created this environment of magic and awesomeness.

But now I'm a mother.  A mother who is doing her best to swim upstream in a downstream world.  I'm trying to teach my children values that they can hold tightly onto for the duration.  And I have a six year old monkey who asks questions about EVERYTHING.  We had a conversation about whether or not angels are real last week.  And that has brought me to ponder how I would respond if in the next few weeks he asks me about the authenticity of Santa.  I have decided that I cannot lie to my son.  If I want him to trust me and trust what I say to him for the long haul of his life that I cannot lie to him about this if he directly asks me in the same way that he asked about angels.

In our home I have really tried hard to keep the focus off of Santa and onto Jesus.  This year I'm striving to keep the focus off of receiving and putting it back onto GIVING!  We don't give because Santa gave.  Santa is merely a symbol of the true GIVER - Jesus.

Starting the Monday after Thanksgiving our family is going to do 26 days of giving leading up to Christmas.  We have picked a different person/group of people/family to do something for each day for 26 days.  I'm going to be blogging our journey so feel free to join us.  I'm not good at fancy download things but I'll see if KOJ can help me link our list so you can print and use it too if you'd like.

So how do you feel about Santa?  Personally, I still LOVE all those corny Santa movies and the warm idea of him magically delivering small bits of joy to children all over the world.  But when it comes right down to it how *I* feel about a mythical symbol of giving cannot affect what truth I tell our son.  And like I said before - this is a post about me.  It is the journey I've had the past few days while thinking this issue out for myself and our family.  And the conversation will only happen if he brings it up to me.  I'm not going to run amok ruining Christmas for the children this year.  I promise!

November 100.00 holiday update

Well since it is mid-November and it's been a while since I've updated about our 100.00 holiday I thought I should do so.

Green = have, purple = making, black = need to get

DH: Something I am making for him that he will like.
DS1: Little Bear book , a shirt or outfit (need), hot wheels dynamite blaster and hot wheels triple launch jump, Postcards from Buster season 1 dvd, and a decorate your own bank kit
DS2: Little Bear book, All About dvd, Cars 2 duplo blocks set, bank kit, and shirt or outfit (need)
DS3: Sunflower Parable book (have), DC superhero and friends trio sets: Mr Freeze and batwing (have), all about dvd (have), bank kit, shirt or outfit (need)
DD: Parable of the Lily book, an outfit (need), a super hero cape (the boys got theirs a couple of Christmas' ago), little tikes doll high chair, winter coat and hat , toddler purse (need)

I have these bought, and here in my closet:
Mom: (have gc for)
Dad: (have gc for)
FIL: (have gc for)
SIL: (have gc for)

I made these last week!  I spent 1.99 on the last piece I needed to make these.  I need to purchase containers for them that will 1.00 each.
Sis1 and fam: fun family gift
Sis2 and fam: fun family gift

Sis3 (4yrs): not at all sure honestly - I'm leaning towards making her a tutu although a cape like Sierra's might be a fun gift too come to think of it.

Brother (18): no idea!
 
I had 29.90 in cash left at last check in.


29.90
-3.00 (shipping and handling for the hot wheels thing)
-1.99 (the family gifts)
-3.00 (containers for the family gifts - one for our house too)
-6.00 (tulle for tutu or fabric for cape)
-1.00 (hot cocoa packets for stockings)
-1.00 (snickers for KOJ's stocking)
_____
13.91 left - 


I haven't figure out yet what to do for bank kits for the boys.  I also need to get a few more things for the stockings - I haven't bought any holiday candy yet other than the snickers for KOJ's stocking.


I'm probably going to go over my 13.91 left in cash for stockings and the banks but not by a lot and we will have still had a very nice Christmas at a super low cost.  I'm so glad that I planned ahead.  I feel so happy that I don't have to stress about whether or not we'll have the money for nice gifts or even what to get them.  As much as I enjoy black Friday shopping with my mom I'm especially thrilled that I don't have to be desperate for some hot toy item and subsequently when I don't get one of the five of them my store bothered to stock.


I'm still working towards my inbox dollars and I earned a cash rebate through a shopathome.com for a magazine subscription.  But I won't see either of those until the new year so I might try to set them aside for next year's Christmas shopping.  I am of course as always working on the swagbucks to earn up some more gift cards.


Someone might notice that I took the hotwheels car holders off my list and that was because I told my mom about them and she's going to make those as gifts for the boys which I am thrilled about and they will be too!  Even without them I think we've gotten the kids plenty.  I think I may go ahead and find an ornament pattern and make the kids each an ornament for their ornament collections.  It's a tradition I had planned to start next year but no reason to wait now.


So how are you doing on your holiday shopping?? 

Lesson Planning

I'm still trying to work out the kinks in the lesson planning.  Frankly the whole thing just overwhelms me.

Thankfully I chose (very much on purpose mind you) curriculum for Kayd that is basically: open the book, do the next lesson.  The lessons are scripted for me and I can see at a glance what we need to do that day.  For his math I just hand him the next two worksheets.  I mean really how much more simple does that get?  It just doesn't.

But I struggle in planning out the other areas of learning - the history, geography, art, science etc.  I bought FIAR for this portion but I have struggled with it because I feel that it doesn't have much hands on stuff and well in this house we have a hands on teacher and hands on children so yeah.  But trying to add in the hands on stuff has been overwhelming to me and I was on the verge of giving up.

So last night I spent a copious amount of time searching the wonderful internet for other blogs of families who use FIAR to see if I could find some inspiration.  And find some inspiration I did.

Here's what I'm going to try.  I'm going to choose the book I want to row and read it through.  Then jot down two to four things I want to focus on learning about with the kids.  I will check out the manual for their ideas and suggestions and find activities to make it feel more hands on.

I know a huge part of getting the hands on stuff in there is planning ahead so we have the supplies we need.  One blog I visited the mama puts the whole weeks supplies in a nice basket - supplemental books, art supplies, worksheets.  All in one nice location.  I NEED to do this.  This will help immensely.

So this week we're going to finish of Grandfather's Journey (a really neat book IMO) by learning some about the location and culture of Japan, making a couple of recipes from a Japanese recipe book we took out of the library, and make a family tree together since the book is about a couple of generations of a family.  I think it will be fun too to map out where each family member was born so the kids can see that while we haven't moved to a new country some of us have moved around from where we were first born - including all three of the boys!

I'm working on a Thanksgiving unit right now to do Mon-Wed next week.  In December we're going to be working on a giving project as a family so I'm only going to do one row that month.  We're going to focus more on Christmas for December. 

I would LOVE to hear how other mom's pull it all together - how you keep your stuff organized, how you do your lesson planning.  Feel free to link me to any posts you might have on your own blogs regarding the topic.  Truly I can always use more inspiration.

A month of giving thanks

So it's that time of year again.  The stores are crowded, traffic is crazy, the decorations are going up on main street in town.  But it's not even Thanksgiving yet!  Eh I don't mind honestly.  As soon as Christmas stuff hits the store I wander slowly and dreamy eyed down the aisles.  For me Thanksgiving is just an extension of Christmas.

This month lots of people on facebook and on mom boards I frequent are daily posting something they are thankful for.  I'm just not that dedicated and I get too easily distracted when I try to do daily things like that.  So I'm dedicating this post to being thankful for one thing for each day in November.  Are ya ready?

1 - Jesus ~ He made the ultimate sacrifice for me and my family and well there's really just nothing better than that.

2 - God ~ yeah I'm claiming Him separately.  I'm thankful for His provision both physically and spiritually.

3 - KOJ ~ He's really just a great guy.  Yeah we have our moments but all around he's amazing and I just love him so very much.  I mean he's active with the kids, does their baths, let's me get away whenever I need to, and he works hard all week to provide for our family so that I can be home with our children.

4 - Kayden ~ my oldest monkey has his moments of attitude that's for sure but all around he's a great kid.  He's super smart and he's a great big brother who takes the job very seriously.  And his logical mind just cracks me up.

5 - Colton ~ oh man this kid just he lives to be cheer.  His mere presence in a room can brighten someone's day.  I love the way that he dances through the house singing worship songs at the top of his lungs and with all of his heart.  He was an easy baby and he's still my most laid back easy going child.  He's going to strongly impact those around him in his life, I can just tell that and I'm so blessed to be his mama and get to watch first hand.

6 - Sawyer ~ this monkey is generally nothing but trouble but he's so stinking cute about it it's always hard to get angry.  He has a thirst for knowing and doing and a drive to be just like his brothers.  For all the trouble he gives me he was my easiest potty trainer.  And he just adores his baby sister.


7 - Sierra ~ I mean really who wouldn't be thankful for this precious girl?  She's just so much fun right now, watching her personality blossom and the way she has every male gendered person in this house just wrapped right around her tiny little fingers.  I'm really thankful that God saw fit to give me a daughter even though I think that it was one of the things I was most scared of in all of my life.

8 - My parents ~ they gave me a decent foundation in life and they love their grandchildren.

9 - My sisters ~ because really I can't imagine having to grow up without live-in friends.  Even my baby sister Emily who is more a playmate to her same age nieces and nephews.  So blessed to have these lifelong friends.

10 - Our church ~ we have the MOST amazing church and church family.  I've never felt so welcomed and at home at any church.  There is true friendship and a true level of accountability when asked for.  This church blesses our whole family from the smallest baby to the oldest family member (which just happens to be me lol).

11 - CMF ~ I really couldn't live without the advice, the place to vent, the camaraderie and fellowship that you all provide me in the day to day of life here with the kiddos.

12 - The freedom to homeschool my children.  Like most things involved in raising kids it has it's challenges but overall home schooling the kids is such a joy.  And hey while they're learning so am I.

13 - Our home ~ We have a lovely home and even though we rent I truly do feel peaceful and at home here.

14 - vehicles ~ I'm thankful that we have running vehicles in decent(ish) condition.  I'm especially thankful that we have two vehicles because even though I don't often choose to take all four children out alone during the week I at least have the choice if I want it.

15 - food ~ we are so blessed to live in the richest country in the world and even though sometimes it feels like the food budget is stretched thin I try to remind myself that there are children and family living on a small fraction of the food we put in our bellies every day.

16 - the internet ~ I love having this outlet, research tool, and place for fellowship in the comfort of my own home.  It's a huge resource for me!

17 - flavored coffee creamers ~ I LOVE flavored coffee creamers.  It's fun to change up your coffee from day to day.

18 - heat ~ I'm so thankful for our heat in the winter time.  I HATE being too cold.

19 - our military members - I may not always agree with what our government is doing but I will always support the people in the military because they are laying their lives on the line selflessly, missing out on time with their own families in the hope that their service will actively preserve our freedoms in this country.

20 - joy and laughter ~ I'm thankful that I can be joyful and spend time laughing - with family, friends, alone at silly things I read/see on the internet.

21 - my ladies bible study ~ I have been so blessed by the girls in my bible study group and by the book we're working through this year.  Learning some secrets to contentment and having people out there that I KNOW are praying for my requests is just priceless.

22 - the television ~ we've never had cable but netflix and dvd's have allowed me make it through the newborn stages of my last three children. 

23 - birthdays ~ we've just gotten past two of our four monkeys' birthdays and I'm so thankful that we get to have a nice day together as a family celebrating the life of the birthday person.

24 - appliances ~ the washer does the washing, the dryer does the drying, the stove and toaster oven and microwave and crock pot do the cooking, and my kitchen aid mixer gets used regularly.  I can't imagine living without these conveniences in my day to day life.  I mean if I think keeping house with four little kids is hard now just imagine the days before store bought bread and washing machines.  Geesh, no thank you!

25 - shoes ~ something so simple that we consider a basic need but that many people in the world go without!  I'm so thankful that I can walk into the local store, try them on and walk out with a pair that fits.

I know that there are 30 days in November but I'm stopping with Thanksgiving week because I have something else we're going to be starting the following Monday as part of our Christmas celebration here in our home.  More on that in another post!

Feeling inadequate

So often in my life I have felt inadequate.  I have felt undeserving of any compliment of my mothering, wifing, housekeeping.  I have felt like the biggest sham on the face of the planet.

I think that this was two fold.  On the one hand I felt like I was able to put on a decent front in front of other people and so they believed me to be something that I was not behind closed doors.  And on the other hand I made assumptions about the other person's idea of this or that.  For example if someone told me that I had such well behaved kids in public then I felt like a sham because let's face it behind closed doors they are no angels.  I made an assumption that the person has this idea that my children are always well behaved.  But perhaps this person has had children or been around children and knows that sometimes them not whacking each other over the smallest thing (usually a toy car) is great behavior.  Perhaps their comment is TRUE.  Perhaps they don't care what my children act like outside of the grocery store.

I have felt similarly about my home.  I try my best and I've made huge strides this year.  Strides that I'm proud of.  As I glance around my home right now and see toys all over the living room floor, laundry needing to be put all the way away, and knowing that there are dishes on the counter and the floors need swept.  I also know that I worked hard today and that this is just the result of living with four small children.  I didn't used to know that.  I didn't used to feel that it was ok for the house to not always be lived in and it's ok to accept, graciously, compliments given to me by others who happen upon my house on a good day.  I mean really, the house didn't clean itself.  I know because I've tried to let it in the past and it just doesn't cooperate.

All that to say that I feel free.  On this issue of housekeeping and the pressures I once felt, I feel free.  On the issue of parenting my children and the pressures I once felt, I feel free.  I feel free to ignore the assumed pressures from other sources and focus on what KOJ and I believe is important to teach our children.  I feel free to go to bed without washing that last dish and with a laundry hamper still flowing with laundry.  There's always tomorrow.  And really as long as I've loved my children well TODAY and put them to bed with lots of love.  And as long as I've loved KOJ well today and go to bed at peace with him then well, that's all the housekeeping I need to concern myself with at the end of a long day.  There's always tomorrow to wash that dish, put away that laundry, and have that little argument over something that will be completely meaningless within a few hours.

I think that the biggest changes in me over this last year have had little to do with housekeeping and EVERYTHING to do with finding some contentment and fulfillment in God.  A recent verse in my bible study on contentment was from Psalm 139.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  God knew my heart before I was ever born and He knows all the days of my life.  He created me especially to be me.  Finding a peace with that has just been amazing.  It is what has lead to the sense of freedom I feel.

It also lead to being more on top of an issue I've long struggled with.  My weight.  I'm not perfect.  Some days are better than others.  But I'm trying and taking it one day at a time.  If I screw up today, there's no reason in the world I can't pick myself up and do better tomorrow and in that mind set I'm very happy to say that I'm currently at a 14lb weight loss.  It's just a small dent in the long term goal but it makes me able to face myself in the mirror everyday.  Just knowing that I'm doing something about it makes me feel better about myself.  My clothes are starting to fit better too.  I can't wait for the day that I can move down a size.  Eek, so exciting.

The feelings of inadequacy still sometimes try to settle in and I try my hardest to pray and remember who I am in God.  It really helps a lot.  But I do still have my struggles.  Life isn't completely perfect, after all we're still here in this fallen world.