Thursday, March 8, 2012

Wallow and self pity or Do and Be - choice is yours, results are a world of difference

Do you ever see another woman and think "I sure wish I could be more like her?"  Of course you do.  We all do.  We see a thinner woman and think "I sure wish I looked that good."  We see a mom with a passel of kids and a huge smile on her face and think "I sure wish I had her patience and joy." 

Generally when I begin looking at other women and thinking these things it turns out poorly.  I look at them in that one instant in time and envy someone I know nothing/little about.  How ridiculous is that?  Pretty darn if you ask me.  It makes me feel poorly about myself.  I don't know about any of you but when I feel poorly about myself I tend to withdraw, from my children, from my husband, from my friends.  I live in a little bubble of self pity and self hatred and as I said that just isn't good.

But today I realized that sometimes I look at women and I think "I sure wish I could be more like her."  And then instead of wallowing, I get up, and I make an effort to be more like whatever trait that person displayed that I want to have.  Mostly these are women I go to church with.  Women I know in passing as we each run off in our own directions to wrangle our children on Sunday mornings.  Women who have inspired me to BE more generous, more giving, more selfless.  Women who are showing me in snippets of their character what it is to be like Jesus.  Sometimes it's helpful to see someone else living out the character traits of Jesus, to see what it looks like in real life.  Sometimes it gives you the nudge you needed to change to be more like Him.  These women would probably be surprised if I walked up to them and told them what an inspiration they are to me in this way.  I know that they too probably sit in their homes and sometimes struggle with impatience, and selfishness, and laziness, and just plain "don't wanna"-ness.  But we're human so that's really to be expected.  The defining moment though is when we look at another person and choose to DO, to BE rather than to WALLOW and PITY ourselves. 

So when you see another woman who is doing something you want to do and being something you want to be, don't wallow, don't pity yourself, get up and do, get up and be.  It's MUCH more rewarding than wallowing.  Trust me.  I know from experience.

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