Thursday, March 14, 2013

Life changing moment

It is a life changing moment when your husband walks into the room clutching his chest out of breath and says that he is having chest pain.  It is a life changing moment when you decide that yes, you should call 911 because it's not going away.  It is a life changing moment when the paramedics tell you that he is having a heart attack and they are transporting him to the hospital an hour away where the heart specialists are.

My life was changed this past Saturday when my twenty eight year old husband had a heart attack.  I wanted nothing more than to climb into the back of the ambulance with him but I had our four children to take care of.  KOJ was life-flighted from our local hospital to the bigger hospital.  I had called my mom before the ambulance got there to arrange for her to watch the kids but when I realized they were taking him so far away a voice of wisdom told me that I needed to have someone go up with me.  Thanks Steve.  So I called her back and my sister said she'd keep the kids and then our new game plan was set.  We weren't at home when this emergency happened so we had to stop at home to get clothes and overnight stuff for the kids.  Kayd really stepped up to the plate.  He got clothes for him and his brothers and helped me gather loveys and I appreciated his help.  It felt like it took forever to get the kids to my sister's house.  Then it felt like it took forever to get up to my husband.  His flight only took 18 min.  He was probably at the hospital before I ever even left my sister's house to meet him there.

When I got to my sister's she hugged me and was amazed at my calm.  I didn't have a choice.  I had four kids who didn't need to be freaked out because their mama was.  Being anxious and upset wouldn't have helped Jay anyway.  I'm very logical like that.  It can be a blessing in a situation like this but it can make me seem heartless and emotionless at times too I think.  My mom gathered my four children, my sister's four children and my sister and I in a circle and we prayed for Jay before we took off.  A strand of 11 cords isn't easily broken right?

My mom talked mostly on the way to the hospital and I listened and I didn't think too much about the fact that I had NO idea how Jay was.  When I tried to fathom that he could die my brain wouldn't compute and absolutely refused to have that thought.  Finally we got to the hospital.  Finally we found Jay.  Finally I saw that he was alive, and he was a little bit loopy from various drugs.  I was so happy to see him.  Thinking about it now makes me want to cry but I did not cry that night.  I was just so happy.  We were updated on how he was and what had been done before we arrived.  He'd had a complete blockage in his main artery.  They put in a stint and things were much improved.

Someone told me that I saved his life.  I guess I know logically that if I hadn't called 911 and we ignored it that it could have been much worse, it could have meant death but it feels so dramatic to say that I saved his life because I just dialed a number that anyone else in my situation would have dialed.  It feels overwhelming, I think, to consider that if I hadn't known the signs could mean a heart attack, if we hadn't known that he had high blood pressure and cholesterol which we'd only learned about in the past two weeks, that I could have ignored what was happening and thought he'd be fine on his own.

Lots of people called, "How are you?" they'd ask.  "I'm good." I would say and genuinely mean it.  My husband is alive.  He will come home to our bed again.  He will be here to meet our fifth child.  I am not good, I am great and I am blessed and I give every glory in this situation to God.

I finally returned home Wednesday evening to be with our children and Jay should be able to come home this afternoon.  Friends and family took turns with our children and they had a blast.  Smart move on my part to leave my van with the kids.  That way whoever had them could have the van and all of their seats.  That worked out great.  We've seen God in so many people this week, we've been so blessed.  A friend of my sister, a person I'd never met before, welcomed me to her home down the street from the hospital to shower.  People were asking when they could bring meals.  The friends and family who watched the kids and loved on them while we were gone.  Some anonymous angels came and cleaned our home.  Another friend who had the kiddos cleaned our van.  The blessings have been amazing and so very appreciated.

My life changed on Saturday night.  I became the wife of a man who had a heart attack.  My children now have a father who had a heart attack.  But one thing didn't change.  God was with us.  He was with us in the weeks leading up to the heart attack.  He was with us during the heart attack.  He is with us now in this recovery process from the heart attack. 

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