If you give a mom a sense of discontentment about how cluttered her house always feels she will tell her sister about it hoping for some tips or input that has as yet escaped her.
If a mom talks to her sister about how cluttered her house is it will cause her to think about how nice it would be for her oldest son to have his own room.
If a mom decides to give her oldest son his own room she will feel highly motivated to declutter the room he will be moving into.
If a mom begins decluttering the bedroom her son will be moving into she will realize she needs a new home for her craft stuff.
If a mom realizes she needs a new home for her craft stuff she will realize that she needs to move the tv off her desk upstairs and into the kids' room.
If a mom realizes she needs to move the tv she will realize that the stand is in corner not remotely close to a single outlet.
If a mom realizes that she needs to move the tv stand she will realize that with her oldest son getting his own bedroom there is room in the kids' bedroom to put their dresser.
If a mom realizes that she can move the dresser from the landing to the kids' room she will then realize that she can move her desk onto the landing creating a craft area for herself.
So here's a warning, if you are a mom, perhaps you should reconsider giving your oldest son his own room. Otherwise you might feel a sudden undeniable urge to clean through EVERY room of the house. Of course that could be a good thing. I feel like a mouse with a cookie, only I don't have a cookie! Bummer.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A discovery
This morning I made a horrible discovery.
Well I guess technically I made the discovery yesterday morning. I woke up yesterday at 4:45. I needed to pee. Thanks fifth baby. But once I was awake I had heartburn. Then I had a few things on my mind and thought maybe if I jotted them on my to do list on my kindle that it would allow me to let it go and get back to sleep. But alas, an hour later at 6:06 I was still awake and decided to just get up. I promised myself a nap later.
See, I was excited about getting started on cleaning out our school room because we're transforming it into Kayd's bedroom. Kayden, as a firstborn, is a little bit too much like his mama. We need our alone time and our space of refuge. Sharing a bedroom with your brothers and sister can make that hard to find. I've struggled for a while considering that Kayd would probably do better with his own room because while *I* personally think our house is an adequate size for our family it can be hard to find space. We homeschool here. The kids and I are here nearly constantly through the week. We have toys and school books and art supplies and the clothes that go with four children. So I knew two things. One, I NEEDED to be able to keep the bulk of our homeschooling stuff on the shelves in the school room and Kayd's desk needed to remain in there also. Two, Kayden needed his own room. I wouldn't normally say that a child NEEDS their own room. I do think that in large part having your own room is a privilege and generally a want. But I have the exact same personality and need for alone time. I spent hours alone in my room as a child and so I do consider it a need for Kayden. See the other three would be lost and despondent if I gave them all their own rooms. They thrive on each others' company. Kayden though has been sneaking away during their playtime to do his own thing upstairs in their bedroom. Which is fine. But I have a toy ban on their bedroom so I really cannot imagine what he's doing up there.
So I awoke yesterday with a plan of action for clearing the room of unnecessary clutter and couldn't get back to sleep.
Jay left early to go play basketball. That's another conversation. He lived through it so I guess it's ok. So I was all alone in a quiet house at 6am. Now my kids wake up anywhere between 6 and 7:30. Sometimes they trickle down one at a time every fifteen minutes and others they wake up in bulk. I decided to sort through the puzzles and kids games to pare them down. I put on a show on netflix and began sorting. At about 6:45 Colton came downstairs. Thirty minutes later the other three joined us. They helped me put together puzzles to see what was missing pieces. It was a really nice way to start the day with my children.
Today I slept until my normalish 8:15. I woke to my chocolate ice cream completely gone, unwashed strawberries being eaten by the two year old, and well it wasn't a nice way to start the day.
I discovered the benefit to waking up before the children. In almost eight years of parenting I've NEVER seen any benefit to it but I get it now. Of course if I'm going to make it a regular thing I'm going to have to go to bed at like nine at night but oh well.
Well I guess technically I made the discovery yesterday morning. I woke up yesterday at 4:45. I needed to pee. Thanks fifth baby. But once I was awake I had heartburn. Then I had a few things on my mind and thought maybe if I jotted them on my to do list on my kindle that it would allow me to let it go and get back to sleep. But alas, an hour later at 6:06 I was still awake and decided to just get up. I promised myself a nap later.
See, I was excited about getting started on cleaning out our school room because we're transforming it into Kayd's bedroom. Kayden, as a firstborn, is a little bit too much like his mama. We need our alone time and our space of refuge. Sharing a bedroom with your brothers and sister can make that hard to find. I've struggled for a while considering that Kayd would probably do better with his own room because while *I* personally think our house is an adequate size for our family it can be hard to find space. We homeschool here. The kids and I are here nearly constantly through the week. We have toys and school books and art supplies and the clothes that go with four children. So I knew two things. One, I NEEDED to be able to keep the bulk of our homeschooling stuff on the shelves in the school room and Kayd's desk needed to remain in there also. Two, Kayden needed his own room. I wouldn't normally say that a child NEEDS their own room. I do think that in large part having your own room is a privilege and generally a want. But I have the exact same personality and need for alone time. I spent hours alone in my room as a child and so I do consider it a need for Kayden. See the other three would be lost and despondent if I gave them all their own rooms. They thrive on each others' company. Kayden though has been sneaking away during their playtime to do his own thing upstairs in their bedroom. Which is fine. But I have a toy ban on their bedroom so I really cannot imagine what he's doing up there.
So I awoke yesterday with a plan of action for clearing the room of unnecessary clutter and couldn't get back to sleep.
Jay left early to go play basketball. That's another conversation. He lived through it so I guess it's ok. So I was all alone in a quiet house at 6am. Now my kids wake up anywhere between 6 and 7:30. Sometimes they trickle down one at a time every fifteen minutes and others they wake up in bulk. I decided to sort through the puzzles and kids games to pare them down. I put on a show on netflix and began sorting. At about 6:45 Colton came downstairs. Thirty minutes later the other three joined us. They helped me put together puzzles to see what was missing pieces. It was a really nice way to start the day with my children.
Today I slept until my normalish 8:15. I woke to my chocolate ice cream completely gone, unwashed strawberries being eaten by the two year old, and well it wasn't a nice way to start the day.
I discovered the benefit to waking up before the children. In almost eight years of parenting I've NEVER seen any benefit to it but I get it now. Of course if I'm going to make it a regular thing I'm going to have to go to bed at like nine at night but oh well.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
The aftermath and a new normal
So when a couple gets married and starts a life together they have to find a new normal. When a couple has a baby they have to find another new normal. There are some things in life that happen that cause a family to have to find a new normal.
Almost three weeks ago Jay had a heart attack. Add to that the fact that I was still stumbling through the first trimester of our fifth pregnancy and well here we are needing a new normal.
Pre-pregnancy we had a set school routine and I was doing a decent job keeping on top of housework and cooking dinner every night. First trimester I was barely managing a school routine and thanking God daily that Kayd does most of his work independently and then we check it together. I also couldn't stand the idea of food so making dinner - well any meal really - was excruciating to me. Going grocery shopping was one of the hardest things to do the first 13 weeks. So much food. So much nausea.
Pre-heart attack I did my best to cook healthy meals but now I feel like there's so much more pressure to make sure their super healthy.
I am very happy to say that I am coming into less food aversion - though raw ground meat isn't something that I am currently able to make myself touch or even look at, and I'm finding more energy - though a daily nap still definitely appeals. And I wish I could say that I'm super excited to be getting back into a hopping hands on school routine but the truth is the sun has been out the past two days and even though the temps haven't quite reached 50 yet all I want to do is call "SUMMER BREAK!". Ahh if only.
One good thing that came out of Jay's heart attack is that my grandma's mind has apparently been changed about our homeschooling. I wasn't sure I'd ever see the day but my great aunt watched the kids two of the days that Jay and I were out of town at the hospital and she bragged to my grandma about how smart and polite they are. And I am so pleased that all of the kids did very well, all in all we were both gone from them for four whole days and four nights. Once they saw that Daddy was ok on Sunday they thought that the rest of the time we were gone was one grand adventure, spending the day with this person and the night with that one. It had been previously posited to me that my children wouldn't be able to be independent because they've been too sheltered never having gone to public school but I say with pride that my children all did well, they had never met my great aunt before the first morning that she watched them and my sister reported that they went right in without any hesitation. I figure that my children knew that they could trust that we'd be home when we could be and that we love them enough to only let people who would be good to them care for them in our absence.
Ahh well, we'll find our new normal soon I think of course once we get used to that this fifth little baby will join our family and we will once again be looking for a new normal. Now that I think of it, it seems like life is one long adventure of constantly trying to find our new normal.
I do hope to blog more again in my whole new normal of life. I also hope to blog with some pictures of fun stuff with the kids and home projects. Oh and sewing projects. I have a few up my sleeve that I'm hoping to start working on next week.
Almost three weeks ago Jay had a heart attack. Add to that the fact that I was still stumbling through the first trimester of our fifth pregnancy and well here we are needing a new normal.
Pre-pregnancy we had a set school routine and I was doing a decent job keeping on top of housework and cooking dinner every night. First trimester I was barely managing a school routine and thanking God daily that Kayd does most of his work independently and then we check it together. I also couldn't stand the idea of food so making dinner - well any meal really - was excruciating to me. Going grocery shopping was one of the hardest things to do the first 13 weeks. So much food. So much nausea.
Pre-heart attack I did my best to cook healthy meals but now I feel like there's so much more pressure to make sure their super healthy.
I am very happy to say that I am coming into less food aversion - though raw ground meat isn't something that I am currently able to make myself touch or even look at, and I'm finding more energy - though a daily nap still definitely appeals. And I wish I could say that I'm super excited to be getting back into a hopping hands on school routine but the truth is the sun has been out the past two days and even though the temps haven't quite reached 50 yet all I want to do is call "SUMMER BREAK!". Ahh if only.
One good thing that came out of Jay's heart attack is that my grandma's mind has apparently been changed about our homeschooling. I wasn't sure I'd ever see the day but my great aunt watched the kids two of the days that Jay and I were out of town at the hospital and she bragged to my grandma about how smart and polite they are. And I am so pleased that all of the kids did very well, all in all we were both gone from them for four whole days and four nights. Once they saw that Daddy was ok on Sunday they thought that the rest of the time we were gone was one grand adventure, spending the day with this person and the night with that one. It had been previously posited to me that my children wouldn't be able to be independent because they've been too sheltered never having gone to public school but I say with pride that my children all did well, they had never met my great aunt before the first morning that she watched them and my sister reported that they went right in without any hesitation. I figure that my children knew that they could trust that we'd be home when we could be and that we love them enough to only let people who would be good to them care for them in our absence.
Ahh well, we'll find our new normal soon I think of course once we get used to that this fifth little baby will join our family and we will once again be looking for a new normal. Now that I think of it, it seems like life is one long adventure of constantly trying to find our new normal.
I do hope to blog more again in my whole new normal of life. I also hope to blog with some pictures of fun stuff with the kids and home projects. Oh and sewing projects. I have a few up my sleeve that I'm hoping to start working on next week.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Life changing moment
It is a life changing moment when your husband walks into the room clutching his chest out of breath and says that he is having chest pain. It is a life changing moment when you decide that yes, you should call 911 because it's not going away. It is a life changing moment when the paramedics tell you that he is having a heart attack and they are transporting him to the hospital an hour away where the heart specialists are.
My life was changed this past Saturday when my twenty eight year old husband had a heart attack. I wanted nothing more than to climb into the back of the ambulance with him but I had our four children to take care of. KOJ was life-flighted from our local hospital to the bigger hospital. I had called my mom before the ambulance got there to arrange for her to watch the kids but when I realized they were taking him so far away a voice of wisdom told me that I needed to have someone go up with me. Thanks Steve. So I called her back and my sister said she'd keep the kids and then our new game plan was set. We weren't at home when this emergency happened so we had to stop at home to get clothes and overnight stuff for the kids. Kayd really stepped up to the plate. He got clothes for him and his brothers and helped me gather loveys and I appreciated his help. It felt like it took forever to get the kids to my sister's house. Then it felt like it took forever to get up to my husband. His flight only took 18 min. He was probably at the hospital before I ever even left my sister's house to meet him there.
When I got to my sister's she hugged me and was amazed at my calm. I didn't have a choice. I had four kids who didn't need to be freaked out because their mama was. Being anxious and upset wouldn't have helped Jay anyway. I'm very logical like that. It can be a blessing in a situation like this but it can make me seem heartless and emotionless at times too I think. My mom gathered my four children, my sister's four children and my sister and I in a circle and we prayed for Jay before we took off. A strand of 11 cords isn't easily broken right?
My mom talked mostly on the way to the hospital and I listened and I didn't think too much about the fact that I had NO idea how Jay was. When I tried to fathom that he could die my brain wouldn't compute and absolutely refused to have that thought. Finally we got to the hospital. Finally we found Jay. Finally I saw that he was alive, and he was a little bit loopy from various drugs. I was so happy to see him. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry but I did not cry that night. I was just so happy. We were updated on how he was and what had been done before we arrived. He'd had a complete blockage in his main artery. They put in a stint and things were much improved.
Someone told me that I saved his life. I guess I know logically that if I hadn't called 911 and we ignored it that it could have been much worse, it could have meant death but it feels so dramatic to say that I saved his life because I just dialed a number that anyone else in my situation would have dialed. It feels overwhelming, I think, to consider that if I hadn't known the signs could mean a heart attack, if we hadn't known that he had high blood pressure and cholesterol which we'd only learned about in the past two weeks, that I could have ignored what was happening and thought he'd be fine on his own.
Lots of people called, "How are you?" they'd ask. "I'm good." I would say and genuinely mean it. My husband is alive. He will come home to our bed again. He will be here to meet our fifth child. I am not good, I am great and I am blessed and I give every glory in this situation to God.
I finally returned home Wednesday evening to be with our children and Jay should be able to come home this afternoon. Friends and family took turns with our children and they had a blast. Smart move on my part to leave my van with the kids. That way whoever had them could have the van and all of their seats. That worked out great. We've seen God in so many people this week, we've been so blessed. A friend of my sister, a person I'd never met before, welcomed me to her home down the street from the hospital to shower. People were asking when they could bring meals. The friends and family who watched the kids and loved on them while we were gone. Some anonymous angels came and cleaned our home. Another friend who had the kiddos cleaned our van. The blessings have been amazing and so very appreciated.
My life changed on Saturday night. I became the wife of a man who had a heart attack. My children now have a father who had a heart attack. But one thing didn't change. God was with us. He was with us in the weeks leading up to the heart attack. He was with us during the heart attack. He is with us now in this recovery process from the heart attack.
My life was changed this past Saturday when my twenty eight year old husband had a heart attack. I wanted nothing more than to climb into the back of the ambulance with him but I had our four children to take care of. KOJ was life-flighted from our local hospital to the bigger hospital. I had called my mom before the ambulance got there to arrange for her to watch the kids but when I realized they were taking him so far away a voice of wisdom told me that I needed to have someone go up with me. Thanks Steve. So I called her back and my sister said she'd keep the kids and then our new game plan was set. We weren't at home when this emergency happened so we had to stop at home to get clothes and overnight stuff for the kids. Kayd really stepped up to the plate. He got clothes for him and his brothers and helped me gather loveys and I appreciated his help. It felt like it took forever to get the kids to my sister's house. Then it felt like it took forever to get up to my husband. His flight only took 18 min. He was probably at the hospital before I ever even left my sister's house to meet him there.
When I got to my sister's she hugged me and was amazed at my calm. I didn't have a choice. I had four kids who didn't need to be freaked out because their mama was. Being anxious and upset wouldn't have helped Jay anyway. I'm very logical like that. It can be a blessing in a situation like this but it can make me seem heartless and emotionless at times too I think. My mom gathered my four children, my sister's four children and my sister and I in a circle and we prayed for Jay before we took off. A strand of 11 cords isn't easily broken right?
My mom talked mostly on the way to the hospital and I listened and I didn't think too much about the fact that I had NO idea how Jay was. When I tried to fathom that he could die my brain wouldn't compute and absolutely refused to have that thought. Finally we got to the hospital. Finally we found Jay. Finally I saw that he was alive, and he was a little bit loopy from various drugs. I was so happy to see him. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry but I did not cry that night. I was just so happy. We were updated on how he was and what had been done before we arrived. He'd had a complete blockage in his main artery. They put in a stint and things were much improved.
Someone told me that I saved his life. I guess I know logically that if I hadn't called 911 and we ignored it that it could have been much worse, it could have meant death but it feels so dramatic to say that I saved his life because I just dialed a number that anyone else in my situation would have dialed. It feels overwhelming, I think, to consider that if I hadn't known the signs could mean a heart attack, if we hadn't known that he had high blood pressure and cholesterol which we'd only learned about in the past two weeks, that I could have ignored what was happening and thought he'd be fine on his own.
Lots of people called, "How are you?" they'd ask. "I'm good." I would say and genuinely mean it. My husband is alive. He will come home to our bed again. He will be here to meet our fifth child. I am not good, I am great and I am blessed and I give every glory in this situation to God.
I finally returned home Wednesday evening to be with our children and Jay should be able to come home this afternoon. Friends and family took turns with our children and they had a blast. Smart move on my part to leave my van with the kids. That way whoever had them could have the van and all of their seats. That worked out great. We've seen God in so many people this week, we've been so blessed. A friend of my sister, a person I'd never met before, welcomed me to her home down the street from the hospital to shower. People were asking when they could bring meals. The friends and family who watched the kids and loved on them while we were gone. Some anonymous angels came and cleaned our home. Another friend who had the kiddos cleaned our van. The blessings have been amazing and so very appreciated.
My life changed on Saturday night. I became the wife of a man who had a heart attack. My children now have a father who had a heart attack. But one thing didn't change. God was with us. He was with us in the weeks leading up to the heart attack. He was with us during the heart attack. He is with us now in this recovery process from the heart attack.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Random thoughts on life
Well, I thought I was home free until the icky blahs hit me at 6.5 weeks or so and now at about 8wks I wish I could feel normal again. I'm thankful that my "morning sickness" doesn't involve throwing up but it does involve a lot of nausea and upset tummy, a LOT of thinking pretty much all food on earth sounds disgusting, and a lot of exhaustion.
I'm figuring out that if I stay fed I feel a little better than if I don't. Also if I get enough sleep I feel better than when I'm not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately "enough" sleep seems to be an amount I'm not able to attain on a daily basis. I slept 8hrs Saturday night, took a 2.5hr nap yesterday afternoon, slept about 9hrs last night and FINALLY felt somewhat awake this morning. I don't usually have the luxury of the nap though.
Having a bit more awakeness this morning it was nice to use some of that energy with Sierra and working on some tot school activities. She's very into numbers and counting, we reviewed capital letters and their sounds, shapes and colors, and she got to put stickers on a do a dot number page I found here. I'm so thankful for these other moms who put stuff together like this. My kids love these things and I don't have the know how to create them myself.
Being able to give a little more energy and attention to the kids' school has been nice this morning. Of course I'm starting to wane, my eyes are beginning to get droopy, my tummy is hungry, and school, thank goodness, is almost over for today.
Oh one more thing, yesterday my oldest son Kayden got baptized. Now that alone is pretty great but even greater was that he asked his Daddy to do the honors. Talk about an emotional mama. We had a really great get together with a few friends and grammy afterwards and that was followed by my amazing nap.
Also it must be said that Jay is being great. He's run to the store more in the past two weeks than probably the past whole year previously. He's been really great about helping get the house cleaned up for yesterday's get together. I really appreciate that he's been so helpful.
And one last word, I don't know how consistent this blog will be for the next few weeks. I have lots of fun things I want to do with the kids and post about but with my icky blahs I'm just not often up to messing with getting a post together.
I'm figuring out that if I stay fed I feel a little better than if I don't. Also if I get enough sleep I feel better than when I'm not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately "enough" sleep seems to be an amount I'm not able to attain on a daily basis. I slept 8hrs Saturday night, took a 2.5hr nap yesterday afternoon, slept about 9hrs last night and FINALLY felt somewhat awake this morning. I don't usually have the luxury of the nap though.
Having a bit more awakeness this morning it was nice to use some of that energy with Sierra and working on some tot school activities. She's very into numbers and counting, we reviewed capital letters and their sounds, shapes and colors, and she got to put stickers on a do a dot number page I found here. I'm so thankful for these other moms who put stuff together like this. My kids love these things and I don't have the know how to create them myself.
Being able to give a little more energy and attention to the kids' school has been nice this morning. Of course I'm starting to wane, my eyes are beginning to get droopy, my tummy is hungry, and school, thank goodness, is almost over for today.
Oh one more thing, yesterday my oldest son Kayden got baptized. Now that alone is pretty great but even greater was that he asked his Daddy to do the honors. Talk about an emotional mama. We had a really great get together with a few friends and grammy afterwards and that was followed by my amazing nap.
Also it must be said that Jay is being great. He's run to the store more in the past two weeks than probably the past whole year previously. He's been really great about helping get the house cleaned up for yesterday's get together. I really appreciate that he's been so helpful.
And one last word, I don't know how consistent this blog will be for the next few weeks. I have lots of fun things I want to do with the kids and post about but with my icky blahs I'm just not often up to messing with getting a post together.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
A little bit sticks with you
I'm a reader. I've always been a reader. In middle school you'd rarely catch me walking down the hallway from class to class without an open book in my hand. I would stay up late at night with a flashlight and struggle to stay awake in my first class of the following day. Reading allowed me to go into a world that I would never otherwise be able to go into and have adventures that as a normal person in small town MI I would never have otherwise had. I still love reading.
As a parent the function of reading has often been different than before. Now, I often reach for a book hoping to glean that magic piece of parenting wisdom that I feel so desperate for. I don't read too many parenting books, or don't finish them at any rate because I tend to lay them aside to deal with the children I'm seeking help with. Isn't that just always the way? The true irony of parenting books is that you really only have time to read them BEFORE you are a parent. But still I've realized recently that a little bit sticks with you.
I read a great book when my older two were little and I was probably pregnant with my 3rd. The author encouraged allowing the children to do things that conventional parenting said they weren't really old enough for. It talked a lot about gearing the home environment to where the kids could do a lot for themselves without a ton of parental interference. And while I certainly don't do half the stuff the author encouraged in the book, a little bit did stick.
Because of that book the children's dishes are in a low cabinet where they can get them out themselves and put them away out of the dishwasher themselves. Even Sierra at 2 has no trouble doing either of these things. Because of that book I have tried over the past years to encourage my children to do as much for themselves as possible. I suppose some could look at it as me being lazy, but really there are times when I find I have a HUGE advantage that my children can follow some basic directions given from a mom laying on the couch and function on a basic level without my constant interference. If necessary Kayden and Colton could make pb&j without any assistance, even Sierra can peel her own clementines (once I've started it a tiny bit - but again a brother could help with that), Kayd has been known to serve breakfast completely on his own. And I will tell you that since becoming pregnant with our fifth blessing (which the kids share their excitement about nearly every day) there have been several occasions where I have been thankful that I read that book and that a little bit stuck. It's super beneficial to me now in this season and I know that in the future the sense of independence we're giving our kids will be beneficial to them as they continue to grow.
So even if you can't make it through an entire parenting book, be encourage that usually, from whatever you are able to read, a little bit does stick.
As a parent the function of reading has often been different than before. Now, I often reach for a book hoping to glean that magic piece of parenting wisdom that I feel so desperate for. I don't read too many parenting books, or don't finish them at any rate because I tend to lay them aside to deal with the children I'm seeking help with. Isn't that just always the way? The true irony of parenting books is that you really only have time to read them BEFORE you are a parent. But still I've realized recently that a little bit sticks with you.
I read a great book when my older two were little and I was probably pregnant with my 3rd. The author encouraged allowing the children to do things that conventional parenting said they weren't really old enough for. It talked a lot about gearing the home environment to where the kids could do a lot for themselves without a ton of parental interference. And while I certainly don't do half the stuff the author encouraged in the book, a little bit did stick.
Because of that book the children's dishes are in a low cabinet where they can get them out themselves and put them away out of the dishwasher themselves. Even Sierra at 2 has no trouble doing either of these things. Because of that book I have tried over the past years to encourage my children to do as much for themselves as possible. I suppose some could look at it as me being lazy, but really there are times when I find I have a HUGE advantage that my children can follow some basic directions given from a mom laying on the couch and function on a basic level without my constant interference. If necessary Kayden and Colton could make pb&j without any assistance, even Sierra can peel her own clementines (once I've started it a tiny bit - but again a brother could help with that), Kayd has been known to serve breakfast completely on his own. And I will tell you that since becoming pregnant with our fifth blessing (which the kids share their excitement about nearly every day) there have been several occasions where I have been thankful that I read that book and that a little bit stuck. It's super beneficial to me now in this season and I know that in the future the sense of independence we're giving our kids will be beneficial to them as they continue to grow.
So even if you can't make it through an entire parenting book, be encourage that usually, from whatever you are able to read, a little bit does stick.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Letting Go
I won't lie. One of my favorite things about homeschooling my children is that I don't have to let them go as much. I have at least a bit more of a sense of control over things even if the control isn't real. This past summer, at the encouragement of a few friends from church and the excitement from Kayd after reading the brochure, we allowed Kayden to attend a Christian day camp for a week. He had several friends from church in his little group and he had a blast. He went in the morning and came home for dinner at night. The last night the campers had the option to spend the night to get a taste of what overnight camp is like and we let him do that too.
Kayd had a blast. He loved it and is still bummed that not having two vehicles means that he won't be able to go this summer. However, I received a brochure for a one night overnight winter camp. For some reason I thought it was a great idea to let him go. The timing worked out to get him there and pick him up on time and I know he'll have a lot of fun.
But it's so very hard to let go. If his socks get wet will he remember to change them? Will he remember to wear his hat and dry mittens every time they do an outdoor activity? I won't be there to remind him. I won't be there to check on him. And it occurred to me yesterday that I don't actually know any of the adults who will be responsible for my child for a 14hr period of time from tonight until tomorrow night. Panic began to set in.
And then I prayed. Because really even though I feel like I have some sense of control in my home, it's mostly an illusion. God, really, is in control and He is with Kayd whether Kayd is under this roof or the roof of the camp chapel. I think that letting go is one of the hardest parts of parenting but it's also essential. Kayd's confidence grew leaps and bounds when I let go last summer and I trust that he will have a great experience this weekend too that will grow him into what I hope is a strong, independent, and responsible person. So much of our job as parents is to prepare our children for the final letting go. Oh what a heart wrenching job this can be. But for today I will let him go for one overnight and fun filled day tomorrow. One small letting go opportunity at a time will hopefully prepare my heart for the final letting go when he's ready to go out on his own which I know will happen all too soon. God will have to help when it's time to really let go.
Kayd had a blast. He loved it and is still bummed that not having two vehicles means that he won't be able to go this summer. However, I received a brochure for a one night overnight winter camp. For some reason I thought it was a great idea to let him go. The timing worked out to get him there and pick him up on time and I know he'll have a lot of fun.
But it's so very hard to let go. If his socks get wet will he remember to change them? Will he remember to wear his hat and dry mittens every time they do an outdoor activity? I won't be there to remind him. I won't be there to check on him. And it occurred to me yesterday that I don't actually know any of the adults who will be responsible for my child for a 14hr period of time from tonight until tomorrow night. Panic began to set in.
And then I prayed. Because really even though I feel like I have some sense of control in my home, it's mostly an illusion. God, really, is in control and He is with Kayd whether Kayd is under this roof or the roof of the camp chapel. I think that letting go is one of the hardest parts of parenting but it's also essential. Kayd's confidence grew leaps and bounds when I let go last summer and I trust that he will have a great experience this weekend too that will grow him into what I hope is a strong, independent, and responsible person. So much of our job as parents is to prepare our children for the final letting go. Oh what a heart wrenching job this can be. But for today I will let him go for one overnight and fun filled day tomorrow. One small letting go opportunity at a time will hopefully prepare my heart for the final letting go when he's ready to go out on his own which I know will happen all too soon. God will have to help when it's time to really let go.
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